I thought today was going to be - not so difficult. I was wrong! But I felt so ready, after a good night's sleep and all. Not so. It seemed as if I could not even draw one straight line. And when I did, I wanted to improve it a little bit, and it was all wrong - again. Theodore helped me out, and I made the same mistake again, it should be just a little bit darker towards the end, and then - ups the dark area got too big.
And when Theodore said he did not understand why I was so good the other day and today could do nothing, I was prepared to wnkjwhiohnfvxszk!!!
Perhaps it is the heat, my age, the noise etc. etc.? No, the thing is - this is me. This is my skill, the problem is I want to be perfect, or at least very good. I push myself, I am never content, it is as if I am hearing my parents in the background, come on, you can do it,you can do better than this, be good now, work on it...
This will stop now.
I will be mild with myself. I will not compare myself with a master. I do the best I can, and that will be fine! I will accept myself, just the way I am.
So help me God.
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